I'm Just A Little Bit Caught In The Middle...

Okay so I am sure my fatitude is no longer that interesting but I thought of another thing. I don't know what I'll do if I get skinnier because I always feel awkward. Okay, take yesterday. I am talking to my boyfriend's aunts and they are in their 40s and 50s and they are portly and gray-haired and they like me. But I feel awkward because I think they are staring at my stomach and thinking that, sure they look fat now, but atleast they were skinny when it counted (i.e. their youth). Me, I'm fat now, so I'll only get fatter. What a tragedy. This paranoid thinking isn't totally unfounded. I mean, it is with his aunts, but I have been told this before. By my mother.
You see my mother has alway been six feet tall. But she used to be quite skinny with huge boobs and six feet tall. For as long as I have known her, she has been very overweight, so her comments about my eating and stuff were mostly taking in stride, as she is a total hypocritical fat bitch. But last spring, whilst I was away innocently at school, my mo began this doctor-monitored diet. Now, almost a full year later, she has lost like 55 pounds and we were the same pants size. This is bad. Very bad. Not only does she talk about food (in varying ways) all the mother-effing time but you know she is looking at me as competition. Her youngest daughter, not even 21, and she can totally wear things smaller than her! Though I must say I don't quite fulfill the wearing-you-daughters-clothes fantasy as I am so fat myself. But I am 5'9". She is 6'. And she does weigh almost 15 pounds less than me. Of course, I knew this was coming, so what did I do? I threw in the towel and ate like a crazy person.
Every day that I have been home I have been hoping that today will be a good day, today will be a day I eat well. Today is never that day.
Maybe tomorrow?

Look at this skinny bitch shall we? This woman gained 80 pounds during her pregnancy and had to diet mid-pregnancy because she was only like 7 months pregnant. And now she is back to her skinny self. How does she do that? Obviously, she loves herself some food. (80 pounds in 7 months!) Does she just never allow herself to eat so she went wacko with the pregnancy eat pass? Or is she just physically unable to stay fat unless harboring a bebe? And this picture was taken in September. So 10 months later. Seriously!?